I'm a 42 year old mother of 3 small children, 6 1/2, almost 4 and 14mo. I'm on a diet because I am very overweight. I have been on diets off and on since I was 13. The sad thing is that I wasn't actually overweight for most of those diets. I was briefly obese during my mid 20's, but I didn't actually become overweight until I hit my mid 30's. When I got pregnant with my fist child I went from overweight to obese...and kept going. I gained 85 lbs and had started out overweight. I wasn't worried because people had told me I'd lose 5 lbs a month effortlessly just by breastfeeding. That didn't happen despite exclusively breastfeeding for 6 mo and then breastfeeding for years after that. I lost 30 lbs having the baby and then that was it. In the 6 1/2 years since I had my oldest girl I have dieted a few times with varying success, but have put it back on. Dieting when you have kids is just so much harder. There is less time, less energy and tasty treats to be racooned. If I didn't have kids I would never make macaroni and cheese--ever. I wouldn't bake cookies, have ice cream in my freezer, or buy snack foods. I wouldn't be tempted by the left-overs. I could go to the gym every day. With kids it is just harder.
I'd gotten to a point where I just accepted the fact I was fat. I'm a mom. I did my thin time back in my teens, 20's and early 30's. I don't need to be hot, or look cute or whatever. I just need to be a good mom and that takes a lot of energy and focus. I don't suffer from any weight related problems so it felt like wanting to lose weight was pretty much a vanity thing. Then it happened.
We were going to go swimming at one of my older daughter's friend's house. My 3 year old didn't want to wear her "zucchini" because her Dad told her nobody likes big bellies and she didn't want her sister's friends to laugh at her belly. She isn't fat. She has a cute little 3 year old's belly. Her dad likes 6 pack abs. He is athletic and I think wants his girls to have athletic builds too. My oldest is thin and does have a flat stomach--she makes him proud. The 3 year old is a little stockier. She isn't long and lean like her sister, but she isn't fat. You would think that she would get her weight issues from me--but she didn't. I've made a point of not letting my fat keep me from taking my kids swimming etc. I've rocked the "I'm so much more than just my weight--I refuse to feel worthless because I'm fat." She had someone else tell her she needed a flat stomach to wear a bathing suit...or tell her something she interpreted as such. I can't control other people and I know she will hear that a lot. Society bombards us with the message that you have to be thin to be beautiful. She is going to be a girl who at her healthy weight doesn't look thin because of her build. I realized that as her obese mom she isn't going to take me seriously when I tell her she isn't fat, that at 3 she isn't supposed to have a 6 pack like her dad. I'm going to sound like a fatty making excuses--if not now, when she is older. So, losing weight is no longer just an option. It is something I have to do for my kids. My middle girl and youngest are more my body type. The youngest has a different father (one who would never tell a 3 yo her belly was too big) who is a big guy--tall, broad shoulders...and has had weight struggles too. She is probably going to have to be careful about her weight too. I always had to diet to be thin. I never had that eat a pizza and a pack of oreos and not gain weight teen time. I overeat and I gain weight.That is just how it is.
So I am now 26 pounds down and want to lose 60-80 pounds more. This is far from my first diet, not even my first diet this year--but this time is different. Quitting just isn't an option. I've been at it for 2 months now. I have another 6 months or so to go...if I am lucky...but then it doesn't really matter because it is more of a lifestyle change than a diet. It isn't like I'll hit a number and then be able to eat what I want. I'll pretty much be eating like this for the rest of my life. I'll be able to work in some treats now and then, but day to day will probably be like my diet is now.
One of the things about having dieted off and on for almsot 30 years is that I have tried so many different approaches. Some things worked at one point and do not now. When I lost 100 lbs in my 20's I did it by eating once a day. I could have anything I wanted except sugar, but I only ate one meal a day. It was easy and it worked. I don't think I could do that now, and I don't think it would be a good example for my girls. Now I do the opposite. I eat every 2 1/2 hours and try and keep my blood sugar from spiking. I had gestational diabetes (from age, not weight as I was about the same weight all 3 pregnancies) with my last child so I got a crash course in blood sugar regulation. I eat meals and snacks with at least 7 grams of protein and less than 30 grams of carbohydrate. I test meals to make sure they don't send my bood sugar over 120 at an hour. It has been working. My main handicap is I hate fruits and vegetables. That makes it really hard. My strength is I can eat the same foods all the time and not get sick of them. My usual daily diet is a high fiber, low carb whole wheat tortilla with 2 oz of mozzarella for breakfast, a cup of cottage cheese for snack, a turkey(4oz) and cheese(1oz) sandwich on low carb bread for lunch, 33 gr of almonds for snack, and a grilled skinless chicken breast(6-8 oz), peas or corn (1.5 cups)and black beans (12 oz) for dinner. Then I drink a lot of water, take fish oil, Magnesium, Reservatol, a multivitamin, and a fruit and vegetable supplement (Fruit and Veggie Festive form Costco because it is cheaper than JuicePlus. My husband and I walk a little over 2 miles a day at about 3.5mph. I try and do at least 20 minutes a day of other cardio. Lately it has been Dance Central on the Xbox.
So my goal is to no longer be a fat Mom, but at the same time to show my kids that my value as a person doesn't depend on my weight. I don't want them to think that the worst thing in the world is to be fat. The worst thing is to be an asshole. It is ok to not be thin...but I'd prefer not to be fat. I'm trying to pul it off that I'm just making healthier choices and that losing weight is a side effect, not the goal.
In making healthier meals, in addition to taking away my poor kids' chocolate milk and desserts (mean mom!), my middle girl has lost 1 1/2 lbs and her belly is smaller. She wasn't fat, but she was getting to the upper limit mainly because she is short. I owe it to her to help her be closer to the middle. She periodically gets mad that I don't let her have chocolate milk anymore--that is it only for special occasions and I sometimes think--she is 3, when else can you drink chocolate milk? It feels a little wrong, like I'm putting her on a diet. But maybe it is just a needed lifestyle change. She LOVED her chocolate milk and could drink a lot of it and then didn't want to eat her food.
I look forward to being thin again--looking nice in jeans and a tee shirt. Clothes look better on thinner people. It is a lot more expensive to look nice fat. There are cute clothes, but they are expensive! This--just shorts and a tank top is cute-- I look forward to that again.
