There were many things I had just never really thought about before I had kids. Being judged for snacks being one of them. It seems like such a little thing, but there is just so much potential for judgment and awkwardness. We all have our different issues and different things on our radars. We have different beliefs, priorities and needs. Some people don't really care. Others are the food police. I'm pretty moderate I think. I'm not the mom with the Pepsi and Grab Bag of Doritos or the mom with the organic hummus with organic vegetable slices and non-plastic bottles of water. I'm the mom with the cheese crackers, non-organic blueberries and Capri Sun. I don't do soda, HFCS or gummi snacks, but other than that I figure playdate treats are not a staple so I don't really care.
I got food policed the other day. I had been baking spirit cookies for my daughter's class every Friday, often in her school colors--yellow and blue. The cookies were a reward for the kids who wore their spirit shirts. I would take a few extras to the office for the staff. So last Friday as I was leaving the office I was stopped by one of the moms in my daughter's class who asked me to stop baking cookies for the class. The cookies weren't organic and contained artificial colorings which she feels cause cancer. She didn't want her daughter eating them and didn't feel it fair to her daughter if she didn't get a cookie when other kids did so no kids should get cookies...which as they are chock full of cancer is probably good. As the mother pushing these horrid cookies I felt judged as she schooled me on the evils of them. Apparently cookies are why kids don't eat the fruit and vegetables we want them to eat. Who would have thought a weekly cookie would have such a terrible effect on the poor children. Thankfully she saved them. Of course I am judging her right back. I think she was being silly. I think if she doesn't want her kid eating cookies she needs to teach her kid to say "no thank you." I know she thought she was being the superior parent listing all the things she doesn't let her kid eat as I just thought "poor kid." The problem is that it isn't just about being polite during one confrontation or conversation. My response probably determines if her daughter will ever be allowed to come play with my daughter outside of school. What if my daughter decides her daughter is her new best friend and wants a playdate? Is her mom going to let her come to the home of a mom with such poor judgment that she pushed cancer laden cookies on innocent children? Obviously I wouldn't offer her kid cookies. I'd pull out my organic apple slices and Annie's bunnies but he mom would already know of my poor judgment issues. So I smiled and nodded and offered the teacher that I'd bake cookies without coloring from now on as a compromise. He said that he didn't think the cookies were helping to get more kids to wear spirit shirts anyway so we could just skip the cookies as they weren't having the desired effect anyway.
These encounters make me worry about what other parents think of the snacks I offer their kids and if . It can go so differently. If I offer to make cookies or cupcakes for a playdate the parent might think I rock or that I am a terrible parent and person for giving their kids junk food. If I pull out the Costco bag of organic sliced apples I'm either a fellow superior parent or I have boring sucky snacks. Maybe they would assume I'd judge their snacks. Would they assume I was "one of those"? Making cookies is more fun than eating apples. Kids can decorate the cookies--not much you can do with the apples.When others offer my kids snacks my only worry is that my kid will take one bite and waste it or eat it like they have never been fed before--other people's snacks taste much better than your own you know. Usually people aren't that aggressive, it is more like they inspect the package and then say something about their child only eats organic, doesn't eat junk food like goldfish crackers or the occasional "We don't eat that crap." I've actually witnessed this more than I've had it happen to me, but it has still happened. Someday one of my kids will ask why someone said that about their food (or a food we eat) and I will have to find a way to defend my choices without being disrespectful to the other person's beliefs. I guess it is the same with all differing beliefs--you want to teach that people believe differently rather than that they are wrong or silly but it is more challenging when they have jsut insulted your choice/belief.
I have a friend with whom I discussed this issue. Her son had a classmate who food policed the other kids and told them their parents were giving them poison. It is one thing when you get the aggressive vegan who talks about your colon and how you must not know what you are doing to your body or you couldn't eat meat etc when you are an adult. It is different when someone tells your child about how terrible your choices are...like it is fact, and not just their opinion. We all make different choices for our kids and I do hope that when I tell my kids I make a certain choice for them because I love and want them to be safe and healthy that they don't take that to mean that people who make different choices don't love their kids or care about their health or safety. My thing is car safety not snacks--we all have our different issues. I hope my kids don't tell the kids who don't use car seats or boosters that their parents don't care about their safety. Life is complicated.
Food should be easier than religion or politics yet it can be very awkward. It is kind of funny though because unlike religion and politics the other side often doesn't feel as passionately so you don't tend to get the heated arguments. For instance, vegans might think meat is terrible, but omnivors don't think vegetables are bad for you. It is more like one person attacks and then is later mocked when they are gone. One time at a dance class my then 3 year old daughter was taking, a parent launched into this whole "Don't you know you are poisoning your kids" tirade while drinking a Big Gulp. I don't remember why she started and it wasn't directed at a single person, but she went on and on about how the food in stores is poison and you have to have your own chickens or buy from a farmer you trust. All processed foods were poison. Anything you bought in a grocery store was poison--milk, eggs, vegetables--everything. On and on about how ignorant we( in general I guess) were because we would never eat food from the store if we knew what she knew. The next week she brought her daughter in carrying a fast food bag. The day of the tirade the other moms were all quiet and acted like they were listening to a reasonable person talk. As soon as she left there was an explosion of conversation about her soda, how crazy what she said was and how rudely she had termed everything. I was no better, but I wonder why none of us voiced our disagreement to her. Why didn't anyone simply say "I don't believe that" or a simple "I'm not poisoning my kids." Or a "I don't want to hear anymore of this." I get why nobody questioned her about her soda because the "look at you!" arguments are annoying, but "I don't appreciate being told I'm ignorantly poisoning my kids" would have been called for. Maybe since there were many of us we were all waiting for someone else to say something. I think if she had launched into a specific person I might have come to their defense but when it was directed at everyone I kept my pie hole shut. I'm sure pie is poison too.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Over half way there
I am now down 63 pounds and have hit that point where I think people who see me would think I could stand to lose some weight, but I don't think I'd be described as "obese" even though I still technically am. I fit into "normal" sized clothes. Sometimes I feel a little giddy when I think about how the next bathing suit I buy will be a single digit or how in the Spring I can buy clothes that actually look cute. I'll have all new problems then though because I'm not exactly sure how a mom to small children in her mid forties is supposed to dress. Who knows what I'll be left with when the extra weight is gone--it probably isn't going to be the body I had 10 years ago. I am currently at ("ideal weight")+56, that "ideal" being the super thin I couldn't even maintain at 20 for any length of time. I plan on losing at least 20 pounds more, but think I'll probably go for 40 more---somewhere between 20 and 40 when I hit a point where what I'm doing isn't delivering results I'll call it good, buy all new clothes, and go into maintenance-mode. I mention that I am ("ideal weight")+56 because there still is a part of me that feels that that number in HUGE while another part rejoices that it is SO much better than what I've been the last 8 years. I'm at that point where other women say I look great, but I'm looking forward to when some of them stop talking to me about it ha ha. You know, that point where they feel threatened for some reason so they can't say anything nice. I'm pretty much aiming for where I used to be when I felt fat and wanted to lose weight. It wasn't so much that I thought I looked fat, it was more that the number on the scale told me I was fat because it wasn't a number I could proudly announce. It wasn't like 107. I feel like women are supposed to be under 120 even though I know that for most women that is rather underweight unless you are short. It is the movie weights I think that give me that idea. I would guess that most women who are not fat nor model thin are probably 140ish. I don't ask other women how much they weigh and they probably wouldn't answer honestly anyway so that is just a guess. I think this time if I get down to 140ish I will be happy with it instead of feeling I need to try to get those last 20ish pounds off.
I've had my moments. I get happy when I hit a new 0 going below the last 10. I get happy when I can size down my pants. Then there have been the sad moments like when I measured myself and saw that I am wearing a few sizes smaller than the clothing chart says I should be. You think you are a 12 because your pants are a size 12 but the chart says you are an 18--uncool. I've also had times I found a pair of pants I was sure would have to fit because they looked SO HUGE and they were tight. That is why I've fixated on the number on the scale because I don't trust that i'm not delusional about my size. I'm probably rarely right. I'm probably either over or underestimating my size. I know it isn't just me.
I have had to make some changes along the way. Sometimes I feel like I am juggling and keep getting thrown new balls to work in. I guess that is how it goes. So far it has turned out ok. The first challenge I hit was my blood pressure went up. I'd never had a problem with my blood pressure before. Then boom, I hit 127 over an ok number I've forgotten. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I was eating too much sodium or not as much garlic so I lowered the sodium and started taking garlic pills. I threw in some CoQ10 for good measure. I used to get a lot of garlic on the frequent pasta I ate. Cottage cheese and deli turkey breast were giving me a lot of sodium. I cut out the cottage cheese and replaced the deli turkey with a freshly cooked thin sliced chicken breast which is in some ways more work, but it is worth it. It jsut makes it a little harder when you have to look at protein, carbs and sodium--it is often only 2 that are good. (I want at least 7 grams of protein every time I eat.) So now for breakfast I eat 2 ounces of mozzarella melted on a multigrain tortilla, have 33 grams of almonds for snack, a 4 oz chicken breast on low carb bread with an ounce of cheese for lunch and then i have dinner which usually includes 12 oz of black beans, 6-8 oz of chicken, pork or beef (75% of the time chicken wiht the others rotated) and sometimes a baked potato or corn or peas. My daily treat is a See's lollipop. I dropped a snack that I probably shouldn't have. I need to get back to eating every 2 1/2 hours to keep my metabolism up, but I'm not really hungry so I forget. I get busy and forget. Sometimes I add a cheese stick if I remember, but I need to be better at remembering. The other change I've made is that I walk a lot. It is a pretty easy way to get exercise but it takes time. Most days I spend at least 2 hours walking which means I have 2 hours less in my day to do everything else that needs to get done. I do multitask in that I check email and Facebook while walking. I need that 6 or so miles a day because now my calorie requirement is so low it would be really hard to make it without them. One of those hours doesn't really count because it is walking kids to and from school--that hour is pretty much gone. There are 3 trips. If I drove and had to park and get everyone in and out of car seats it would probably take the same 20 minutes a trip as walking does. Now I may change again. My youngest may be old enough to enjoy the gym daycare so some long walks may be replaced by the gym. That won't save time however. I have to drive to the gym, get everyone out and in the daycare and get dressed. An hour walk takes exactly 1 hour. An hour at the gym takes close to 2. An hour walk is free. An hour at the gym costs $4 in daycare fees. However an hour at the gym should burn a lot more calories. We'll see. With the weather changing I might need to go back to Xbox Zumba and dance games.
The other challenge I have is finding balance; that balance between willpower and determination and being able to have cake at a birthday party or ice-cream with one of my kids on a kid-date. I want to lose weight, but I don't want the biggest thing about me to be that I'm on a diet. I want to teach my kids good habits, but I don't want them to feel women can never have carbs. For me extremes have always been easier than moderation. No pizza is easier than stopping at one slice. I'm working on it.
I've had my moments. I get happy when I hit a new 0 going below the last 10. I get happy when I can size down my pants. Then there have been the sad moments like when I measured myself and saw that I am wearing a few sizes smaller than the clothing chart says I should be. You think you are a 12 because your pants are a size 12 but the chart says you are an 18--uncool. I've also had times I found a pair of pants I was sure would have to fit because they looked SO HUGE and they were tight. That is why I've fixated on the number on the scale because I don't trust that i'm not delusional about my size. I'm probably rarely right. I'm probably either over or underestimating my size. I know it isn't just me.
I have had to make some changes along the way. Sometimes I feel like I am juggling and keep getting thrown new balls to work in. I guess that is how it goes. So far it has turned out ok. The first challenge I hit was my blood pressure went up. I'd never had a problem with my blood pressure before. Then boom, I hit 127 over an ok number I've forgotten. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I was eating too much sodium or not as much garlic so I lowered the sodium and started taking garlic pills. I threw in some CoQ10 for good measure. I used to get a lot of garlic on the frequent pasta I ate. Cottage cheese and deli turkey breast were giving me a lot of sodium. I cut out the cottage cheese and replaced the deli turkey with a freshly cooked thin sliced chicken breast which is in some ways more work, but it is worth it. It jsut makes it a little harder when you have to look at protein, carbs and sodium--it is often only 2 that are good. (I want at least 7 grams of protein every time I eat.) So now for breakfast I eat 2 ounces of mozzarella melted on a multigrain tortilla, have 33 grams of almonds for snack, a 4 oz chicken breast on low carb bread with an ounce of cheese for lunch and then i have dinner which usually includes 12 oz of black beans, 6-8 oz of chicken, pork or beef (75% of the time chicken wiht the others rotated) and sometimes a baked potato or corn or peas. My daily treat is a See's lollipop. I dropped a snack that I probably shouldn't have. I need to get back to eating every 2 1/2 hours to keep my metabolism up, but I'm not really hungry so I forget. I get busy and forget. Sometimes I add a cheese stick if I remember, but I need to be better at remembering. The other change I've made is that I walk a lot. It is a pretty easy way to get exercise but it takes time. Most days I spend at least 2 hours walking which means I have 2 hours less in my day to do everything else that needs to get done. I do multitask in that I check email and Facebook while walking. I need that 6 or so miles a day because now my calorie requirement is so low it would be really hard to make it without them. One of those hours doesn't really count because it is walking kids to and from school--that hour is pretty much gone. There are 3 trips. If I drove and had to park and get everyone in and out of car seats it would probably take the same 20 minutes a trip as walking does. Now I may change again. My youngest may be old enough to enjoy the gym daycare so some long walks may be replaced by the gym. That won't save time however. I have to drive to the gym, get everyone out and in the daycare and get dressed. An hour walk takes exactly 1 hour. An hour at the gym takes close to 2. An hour walk is free. An hour at the gym costs $4 in daycare fees. However an hour at the gym should burn a lot more calories. We'll see. With the weather changing I might need to go back to Xbox Zumba and dance games.
The other challenge I have is finding balance; that balance between willpower and determination and being able to have cake at a birthday party or ice-cream with one of my kids on a kid-date. I want to lose weight, but I don't want the biggest thing about me to be that I'm on a diet. I want to teach my kids good habits, but I don't want them to feel women can never have carbs. For me extremes have always been easier than moderation. No pizza is easier than stopping at one slice. I'm working on it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
losing weight
A month ago I got a Bodyfit Media core armband. The thing goes on my arm and tracks my activity levels. I don't really get how it works. Supposedly it can sense different things and then puts that together wiht my info that I entered and viola it can "read" me. It is so small and at $120 I don't know how sophisticated it can really be. I guess the jury is still out on how accurate it really is. You manually enter in all the food you eat which I'd already been doing with Myfitnesspal. This should be more accurate since it monitors all your activity, so for instance, if I put in that I did 45 minutes of aerobics 3 days in a row MFP would show that I burned X calories each time. The bodyfit band however can tell that one day I was busting my ass all 45 minutes one day and doing a halfassed job another day. It rewards me with a picture that shows how hard I worked and how much of that was "vigorous" and how much was just "moderate." However...maybe it is just reading how much my arm moves. I guess I could test that by doing 100 leg lifts or something where my arm doesn't move but I'm working.
Today I decided to take all the "calorie deficit" information it had--almost 1 month's worth to compare what it said and what the reality is. There are 2 problems. One--it is a bad time for me to weigh myself due to monthly female issues...ok, PMS bloat. Secondly, I could have possibly gained some muscle doing aerobics. According to the numbers I've lost 13 lbs this month. According to the scale I've lost 9...but with bloating tomorrow that could be 12 or 13. I wish I'd marked down 5 weeks ago what Myfitnesspal said I'd weigh in 5 weeks to see how accurate it is. The "If every day were like today in 5 weeks you would weigh XXX" is motivating!
So I don't really know how accurate my Bodyfit core band really is, but I can tell you that it does motivate me to move more. Last week I had LASIK and so that day I basically lay in bed all day. I burned 1000 calories less than I have been. It is like how you work harder when being watched. If I'm lazy it is documented so am I going to lay in bed and watch tv or am I going to get up and do stuff when the energy expended is going on my PERMANENT RECORD! I think for that alone it is worth it.
I'm talking about my weight but not putting how much I weigh, want to weigh, or how much I have to lose. Part of that is I don't know if I really want that information out there. People who see me can see I'm fat but they don't know the number. As for how much I want to lose, well...I'm not sure. I used to have an actual goal in my younger days. I had a weight I wanted to be and anything over it was overweight. That weight was pretty low for me. I actually had about 40 lbs above that weight which were in the healthy weight range. That weight was the bottom of the healthy weight range--one pound under was "underweight." I think that was because I thought that that way nobody could think I was fat. You know how other women are--some will make you feel fat no matter how thin you are--you could be a little thinner. Ironically, there was a day where I was this ideal weight and I literally mean one single day where I was 1XX.0, not 1XX.2 and this guy told me that I'd be a "knock out" if I lost 15 lbs. He was short and chubby himself. It was just so funny how the one day some jerk had the balls to say that to me was the day that I was at my actual ideal weight. It was a stupid thing to say regardless, but if he'd said it at 1XX.0+15 it would have been different. I was a size 2, but he thought I needed to be a size 0 to be a knock out and then I could have dated this awesome man--woo hoo. Now I don't have a number that I deem a success because I know that I won't wake up and feel perfect at a certain weight, and there will never be a weight that someone won't find fault with. I just know that I have been out of the healthy weight range for too long. I need to loose about 57 pounds to be in the healthy weight range. I have lost 26 lbs so far so I am about 1/3 of the way there which means that I was 83 lbs over my top healthy weight--not good. But now I am only 57 over which is at least better. Next month I should be about 45 over...Once I get to the top I'll see where I go from there. I've had 3 kids since I was last thin. I'm a married mom in her 40's--do I really need to be a size 2? or 4? In my youth I had to work hard at staying thin--do I have that time and energy now? I think I'll be fine just being a healthy weight.
Losing a lot of weight can be very daunting. I remember in my 20's going on diets to lose 20 lbs and how upset I was I couldn't do it in under a month even if I was really good and didn't cheat at all. That seems funny now. When you get to a certain point you are lucky if you can lose the weight you want in a YEAR even if you are really good and don't cheat. That is why you can't look at it as losing 100+ lbs. You look at it as losing 10 lbs this month every month. You look at it as being better off next month than you are now. You look at what you will be able to wear this time next year. Otherwise you will want to just get back in bed and cry. The other day I had one of those little reality slaps life likes to give you. I had had a really good couple of days where I'd exercised extra, eaten well and was feeling like I was getting in better shape. I took a pair of Capris out of the closet that had been too small when i bought them a while back. I looked at them and they looked huge and I thought they'd be nice and loose and comfy. They barely zipped and are tight on the waist. I think it might be one of those vanity sizing things that happens where you are used to the vanity sized clothing and then a true sized item gets thrown in there and throws you. Or maybe it is because I get "relaxed fit" so my true pant size is actually bigger than what I want to think it is. It was just disheartening to think I was slimming down, I'd lost 26 lbs after all...to find out the size 18 capris are tight in the waist. It was odd too because with my body things are usually tight in the hips and loose in the waist so it was odd to have it clear my hips and be tight in the waist. i don't think that has ever happened to me before. I don't think it is a positive development. Or they were just cut weird. Let's hope that was it.
I hate when youngsters say that losing weight is easy; that you just have to burn more than you consume. In a way that IS true, it just doesn't take in account the fact that your body can lower your metabolism and once it gets used to an activity it gets very efficient at conserving energy. If this weren't the case people would have starved to death. During lean times the population would have died off. Look at a farmer working the fields by hand. That is hard work and in lean times he didn't get extra food. His body had to do funny math so that he could do the work needed on what he had. It would be nice however if the body only did this when you were under a certain percentage body fat. It isn't fair it happens to obese people too. The key I have found is to keep it a secret that you are dieting...from your body. Eat some fat and protein every 2-3 hours so it doesn't worry about lean times. Don't work out too hard or too long, just little spurts here and there. You have to be sneaky because if your body figures it out you are screwed. As for the youngsters most of them will figure out they were full of shit in time when what they do stops working as well for them too. They will remember rolling their eyes at the idea that age slows your metabolism and realize they were wrong. I wish they weren't. I wish it was just about being lazy and eating oreos because it is were I would not be fat.
This is what a workout looks like on the screen after I sync with my computer:
Today I decided to take all the "calorie deficit" information it had--almost 1 month's worth to compare what it said and what the reality is. There are 2 problems. One--it is a bad time for me to weigh myself due to monthly female issues...ok, PMS bloat. Secondly, I could have possibly gained some muscle doing aerobics. According to the numbers I've lost 13 lbs this month. According to the scale I've lost 9...but with bloating tomorrow that could be 12 or 13. I wish I'd marked down 5 weeks ago what Myfitnesspal said I'd weigh in 5 weeks to see how accurate it is. The "If every day were like today in 5 weeks you would weigh XXX" is motivating!
So I don't really know how accurate my Bodyfit core band really is, but I can tell you that it does motivate me to move more. Last week I had LASIK and so that day I basically lay in bed all day. I burned 1000 calories less than I have been. It is like how you work harder when being watched. If I'm lazy it is documented so am I going to lay in bed and watch tv or am I going to get up and do stuff when the energy expended is going on my PERMANENT RECORD! I think for that alone it is worth it.
I'm talking about my weight but not putting how much I weigh, want to weigh, or how much I have to lose. Part of that is I don't know if I really want that information out there. People who see me can see I'm fat but they don't know the number. As for how much I want to lose, well...I'm not sure. I used to have an actual goal in my younger days. I had a weight I wanted to be and anything over it was overweight. That weight was pretty low for me. I actually had about 40 lbs above that weight which were in the healthy weight range. That weight was the bottom of the healthy weight range--one pound under was "underweight." I think that was because I thought that that way nobody could think I was fat. You know how other women are--some will make you feel fat no matter how thin you are--you could be a little thinner. Ironically, there was a day where I was this ideal weight and I literally mean one single day where I was 1XX.0, not 1XX.2 and this guy told me that I'd be a "knock out" if I lost 15 lbs. He was short and chubby himself. It was just so funny how the one day some jerk had the balls to say that to me was the day that I was at my actual ideal weight. It was a stupid thing to say regardless, but if he'd said it at 1XX.0+15 it would have been different. I was a size 2, but he thought I needed to be a size 0 to be a knock out and then I could have dated this awesome man--woo hoo. Now I don't have a number that I deem a success because I know that I won't wake up and feel perfect at a certain weight, and there will never be a weight that someone won't find fault with. I just know that I have been out of the healthy weight range for too long. I need to loose about 57 pounds to be in the healthy weight range. I have lost 26 lbs so far so I am about 1/3 of the way there which means that I was 83 lbs over my top healthy weight--not good. But now I am only 57 over which is at least better. Next month I should be about 45 over...Once I get to the top I'll see where I go from there. I've had 3 kids since I was last thin. I'm a married mom in her 40's--do I really need to be a size 2? or 4? In my youth I had to work hard at staying thin--do I have that time and energy now? I think I'll be fine just being a healthy weight.
Losing a lot of weight can be very daunting. I remember in my 20's going on diets to lose 20 lbs and how upset I was I couldn't do it in under a month even if I was really good and didn't cheat at all. That seems funny now. When you get to a certain point you are lucky if you can lose the weight you want in a YEAR even if you are really good and don't cheat. That is why you can't look at it as losing 100+ lbs. You look at it as losing 10 lbs this month every month. You look at it as being better off next month than you are now. You look at what you will be able to wear this time next year. Otherwise you will want to just get back in bed and cry. The other day I had one of those little reality slaps life likes to give you. I had had a really good couple of days where I'd exercised extra, eaten well and was feeling like I was getting in better shape. I took a pair of Capris out of the closet that had been too small when i bought them a while back. I looked at them and they looked huge and I thought they'd be nice and loose and comfy. They barely zipped and are tight on the waist. I think it might be one of those vanity sizing things that happens where you are used to the vanity sized clothing and then a true sized item gets thrown in there and throws you. Or maybe it is because I get "relaxed fit" so my true pant size is actually bigger than what I want to think it is. It was just disheartening to think I was slimming down, I'd lost 26 lbs after all...to find out the size 18 capris are tight in the waist. It was odd too because with my body things are usually tight in the hips and loose in the waist so it was odd to have it clear my hips and be tight in the waist. i don't think that has ever happened to me before. I don't think it is a positive development. Or they were just cut weird. Let's hope that was it.
I hate when youngsters say that losing weight is easy; that you just have to burn more than you consume. In a way that IS true, it just doesn't take in account the fact that your body can lower your metabolism and once it gets used to an activity it gets very efficient at conserving energy. If this weren't the case people would have starved to death. During lean times the population would have died off. Look at a farmer working the fields by hand. That is hard work and in lean times he didn't get extra food. His body had to do funny math so that he could do the work needed on what he had. It would be nice however if the body only did this when you were under a certain percentage body fat. It isn't fair it happens to obese people too. The key I have found is to keep it a secret that you are dieting...from your body. Eat some fat and protein every 2-3 hours so it doesn't worry about lean times. Don't work out too hard or too long, just little spurts here and there. You have to be sneaky because if your body figures it out you are screwed. As for the youngsters most of them will figure out they were full of shit in time when what they do stops working as well for them too. They will remember rolling their eyes at the idea that age slows your metabolism and realize they were wrong. I wish they weren't. I wish it was just about being lazy and eating oreos because it is were I would not be fat.
This is what a workout looks like on the screen after I sync with my computer:
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Why this time is different
I'm a 42 year old mother of 3 small children, 6 1/2, almost 4 and 14mo. I'm on a diet because I am very overweight. I have been on diets off and on since I was 13. The sad thing is that I wasn't actually overweight for most of those diets. I was briefly obese during my mid 20's, but I didn't actually become overweight until I hit my mid 30's. When I got pregnant with my fist child I went from overweight to obese...and kept going. I gained 85 lbs and had started out overweight. I wasn't worried because people had told me I'd lose 5 lbs a month effortlessly just by breastfeeding. That didn't happen despite exclusively breastfeeding for 6 mo and then breastfeeding for years after that. I lost 30 lbs having the baby and then that was it. In the 6 1/2 years since I had my oldest girl I have dieted a few times with varying success, but have put it back on. Dieting when you have kids is just so much harder. There is less time, less energy and tasty treats to be racooned. If I didn't have kids I would never make macaroni and cheese--ever. I wouldn't bake cookies, have ice cream in my freezer, or buy snack foods. I wouldn't be tempted by the left-overs. I could go to the gym every day. With kids it is just harder.
I'd gotten to a point where I just accepted the fact I was fat. I'm a mom. I did my thin time back in my teens, 20's and early 30's. I don't need to be hot, or look cute or whatever. I just need to be a good mom and that takes a lot of energy and focus. I don't suffer from any weight related problems so it felt like wanting to lose weight was pretty much a vanity thing. Then it happened.
We were going to go swimming at one of my older daughter's friend's house. My 3 year old didn't want to wear her "zucchini" because her Dad told her nobody likes big bellies and she didn't want her sister's friends to laugh at her belly. She isn't fat. She has a cute little 3 year old's belly. Her dad likes 6 pack abs. He is athletic and I think wants his girls to have athletic builds too. My oldest is thin and does have a flat stomach--she makes him proud. The 3 year old is a little stockier. She isn't long and lean like her sister, but she isn't fat. You would think that she would get her weight issues from me--but she didn't. I've made a point of not letting my fat keep me from taking my kids swimming etc. I've rocked the "I'm so much more than just my weight--I refuse to feel worthless because I'm fat." She had someone else tell her she needed a flat stomach to wear a bathing suit...or tell her something she interpreted as such. I can't control other people and I know she will hear that a lot. Society bombards us with the message that you have to be thin to be beautiful. She is going to be a girl who at her healthy weight doesn't look thin because of her build. I realized that as her obese mom she isn't going to take me seriously when I tell her she isn't fat, that at 3 she isn't supposed to have a 6 pack like her dad. I'm going to sound like a fatty making excuses--if not now, when she is older. So, losing weight is no longer just an option. It is something I have to do for my kids. My middle girl and youngest are more my body type. The youngest has a different father (one who would never tell a 3 yo her belly was too big) who is a big guy--tall, broad shoulders...and has had weight struggles too. She is probably going to have to be careful about her weight too. I always had to diet to be thin. I never had that eat a pizza and a pack of oreos and not gain weight teen time. I overeat and I gain weight.That is just how it is.
So I am now 26 pounds down and want to lose 60-80 pounds more. This is far from my first diet, not even my first diet this year--but this time is different. Quitting just isn't an option. I've been at it for 2 months now. I have another 6 months or so to go...if I am lucky...but then it doesn't really matter because it is more of a lifestyle change than a diet. It isn't like I'll hit a number and then be able to eat what I want. I'll pretty much be eating like this for the rest of my life. I'll be able to work in some treats now and then, but day to day will probably be like my diet is now.
One of the things about having dieted off and on for almsot 30 years is that I have tried so many different approaches. Some things worked at one point and do not now. When I lost 100 lbs in my 20's I did it by eating once a day. I could have anything I wanted except sugar, but I only ate one meal a day. It was easy and it worked. I don't think I could do that now, and I don't think it would be a good example for my girls. Now I do the opposite. I eat every 2 1/2 hours and try and keep my blood sugar from spiking. I had gestational diabetes (from age, not weight as I was about the same weight all 3 pregnancies) with my last child so I got a crash course in blood sugar regulation. I eat meals and snacks with at least 7 grams of protein and less than 30 grams of carbohydrate. I test meals to make sure they don't send my bood sugar over 120 at an hour. It has been working. My main handicap is I hate fruits and vegetables. That makes it really hard. My strength is I can eat the same foods all the time and not get sick of them. My usual daily diet is a high fiber, low carb whole wheat tortilla with 2 oz of mozzarella for breakfast, a cup of cottage cheese for snack, a turkey(4oz) and cheese(1oz) sandwich on low carb bread for lunch, 33 gr of almonds for snack, and a grilled skinless chicken breast(6-8 oz), peas or corn (1.5 cups)and black beans (12 oz) for dinner. Then I drink a lot of water, take fish oil, Magnesium, Reservatol, a multivitamin, and a fruit and vegetable supplement (Fruit and Veggie Festive form Costco because it is cheaper than JuicePlus. My husband and I walk a little over 2 miles a day at about 3.5mph. I try and do at least 20 minutes a day of other cardio. Lately it has been Dance Central on the Xbox.
So my goal is to no longer be a fat Mom, but at the same time to show my kids that my value as a person doesn't depend on my weight. I don't want them to think that the worst thing in the world is to be fat. The worst thing is to be an asshole. It is ok to not be thin...but I'd prefer not to be fat. I'm trying to pul it off that I'm just making healthier choices and that losing weight is a side effect, not the goal.
In making healthier meals, in addition to taking away my poor kids' chocolate milk and desserts (mean mom!), my middle girl has lost 1 1/2 lbs and her belly is smaller. She wasn't fat, but she was getting to the upper limit mainly because she is short. I owe it to her to help her be closer to the middle. She periodically gets mad that I don't let her have chocolate milk anymore--that is it only for special occasions and I sometimes think--she is 3, when else can you drink chocolate milk? It feels a little wrong, like I'm putting her on a diet. But maybe it is just a needed lifestyle change. She LOVED her chocolate milk and could drink a lot of it and then didn't want to eat her food.
I look forward to being thin again--looking nice in jeans and a tee shirt. Clothes look better on thinner people. It is a lot more expensive to look nice fat. There are cute clothes, but they are expensive! This--just shorts and a tank top is cute-- I look forward to that again.
I'd gotten to a point where I just accepted the fact I was fat. I'm a mom. I did my thin time back in my teens, 20's and early 30's. I don't need to be hot, or look cute or whatever. I just need to be a good mom and that takes a lot of energy and focus. I don't suffer from any weight related problems so it felt like wanting to lose weight was pretty much a vanity thing. Then it happened.
We were going to go swimming at one of my older daughter's friend's house. My 3 year old didn't want to wear her "zucchini" because her Dad told her nobody likes big bellies and she didn't want her sister's friends to laugh at her belly. She isn't fat. She has a cute little 3 year old's belly. Her dad likes 6 pack abs. He is athletic and I think wants his girls to have athletic builds too. My oldest is thin and does have a flat stomach--she makes him proud. The 3 year old is a little stockier. She isn't long and lean like her sister, but she isn't fat. You would think that she would get her weight issues from me--but she didn't. I've made a point of not letting my fat keep me from taking my kids swimming etc. I've rocked the "I'm so much more than just my weight--I refuse to feel worthless because I'm fat." She had someone else tell her she needed a flat stomach to wear a bathing suit...or tell her something she interpreted as such. I can't control other people and I know she will hear that a lot. Society bombards us with the message that you have to be thin to be beautiful. She is going to be a girl who at her healthy weight doesn't look thin because of her build. I realized that as her obese mom she isn't going to take me seriously when I tell her she isn't fat, that at 3 she isn't supposed to have a 6 pack like her dad. I'm going to sound like a fatty making excuses--if not now, when she is older. So, losing weight is no longer just an option. It is something I have to do for my kids. My middle girl and youngest are more my body type. The youngest has a different father (one who would never tell a 3 yo her belly was too big) who is a big guy--tall, broad shoulders...and has had weight struggles too. She is probably going to have to be careful about her weight too. I always had to diet to be thin. I never had that eat a pizza and a pack of oreos and not gain weight teen time. I overeat and I gain weight.That is just how it is.
So I am now 26 pounds down and want to lose 60-80 pounds more. This is far from my first diet, not even my first diet this year--but this time is different. Quitting just isn't an option. I've been at it for 2 months now. I have another 6 months or so to go...if I am lucky...but then it doesn't really matter because it is more of a lifestyle change than a diet. It isn't like I'll hit a number and then be able to eat what I want. I'll pretty much be eating like this for the rest of my life. I'll be able to work in some treats now and then, but day to day will probably be like my diet is now.
One of the things about having dieted off and on for almsot 30 years is that I have tried so many different approaches. Some things worked at one point and do not now. When I lost 100 lbs in my 20's I did it by eating once a day. I could have anything I wanted except sugar, but I only ate one meal a day. It was easy and it worked. I don't think I could do that now, and I don't think it would be a good example for my girls. Now I do the opposite. I eat every 2 1/2 hours and try and keep my blood sugar from spiking. I had gestational diabetes (from age, not weight as I was about the same weight all 3 pregnancies) with my last child so I got a crash course in blood sugar regulation. I eat meals and snacks with at least 7 grams of protein and less than 30 grams of carbohydrate. I test meals to make sure they don't send my bood sugar over 120 at an hour. It has been working. My main handicap is I hate fruits and vegetables. That makes it really hard. My strength is I can eat the same foods all the time and not get sick of them. My usual daily diet is a high fiber, low carb whole wheat tortilla with 2 oz of mozzarella for breakfast, a cup of cottage cheese for snack, a turkey(4oz) and cheese(1oz) sandwich on low carb bread for lunch, 33 gr of almonds for snack, and a grilled skinless chicken breast(6-8 oz), peas or corn (1.5 cups)and black beans (12 oz) for dinner. Then I drink a lot of water, take fish oil, Magnesium, Reservatol, a multivitamin, and a fruit and vegetable supplement (Fruit and Veggie Festive form Costco because it is cheaper than JuicePlus. My husband and I walk a little over 2 miles a day at about 3.5mph. I try and do at least 20 minutes a day of other cardio. Lately it has been Dance Central on the Xbox.
So my goal is to no longer be a fat Mom, but at the same time to show my kids that my value as a person doesn't depend on my weight. I don't want them to think that the worst thing in the world is to be fat. The worst thing is to be an asshole. It is ok to not be thin...but I'd prefer not to be fat. I'm trying to pul it off that I'm just making healthier choices and that losing weight is a side effect, not the goal.
In making healthier meals, in addition to taking away my poor kids' chocolate milk and desserts (mean mom!), my middle girl has lost 1 1/2 lbs and her belly is smaller. She wasn't fat, but she was getting to the upper limit mainly because she is short. I owe it to her to help her be closer to the middle. She periodically gets mad that I don't let her have chocolate milk anymore--that is it only for special occasions and I sometimes think--she is 3, when else can you drink chocolate milk? It feels a little wrong, like I'm putting her on a diet. But maybe it is just a needed lifestyle change. She LOVED her chocolate milk and could drink a lot of it and then didn't want to eat her food.
I look forward to being thin again--looking nice in jeans and a tee shirt. Clothes look better on thinner people. It is a lot more expensive to look nice fat. There are cute clothes, but they are expensive! This--just shorts and a tank top is cute-- I look forward to that again.
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